The truth comes out.

The truth is that sometimes being the really funny short kid gets old.

I've been the funny kid my whole life, and i'm a really boring person once you get to know me. Sometimes I just want to shed this comical skin and be myself, but I'm worried that without the cracks, nobody will want to stay friends with me. The jokes are a gimmick. It's for you to go, "hey, it's cute the cute short kid. look at her, that funny kid."
I don't want to be the funny kid. I want you to like me for me. I want you to tolerate me even when i'm being a bitch, and deal with the sarcasm, and not mind if sometimes I just want to sit there quietly and think. Or cry.

And the truth is that most of you won't be there for me when I'm just in a crappy mood and need a companion. And that most of you will ditch me if I'm going through a tough time. Oddly enough, this doesn't disappoint me. That's because I can say, "ditto for you." I don't have all that many friends I care about. This is not to say I'm anti social or whatever. It's just that I only care about certain people. I'll talk to you in the halls, and I'll give you a christmas card, but I probably don't give two shits about you. Not meaning that I don't care about the person, but meaning that .. I can only care so much. I'll bring you ice cream when you're down, and buy you a birthday gift. But I won't sit there and listen to all your problems, and I sure as hell won't give you my share of the water if we're sitting side by side in the sahara desert, waiting for death to come.

As for some of you .. I will be there for you. I will sit there and wipe your spit when you're sputtering about how he dumped your sorry ass. I will spoon feed you Ben&Jerry's Chubby Hubby if you become paralyzed. I will scooter over to your house in the dead of night if you tell me there's a problem. And I will take a bullet straight to the chest if I know that it means you'll be alright.

Those are the people who listen. Those are the people who don't care if I'm telling jokes, or telling secrets. Or even rambling on and on and on about some stupid math problem.
Those are the people who care.

& those are the people I love.